Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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