found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm bleeding and have questions
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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