I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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