I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
