It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
