I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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