quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
