is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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