I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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