my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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