Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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