He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
