we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
