I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
