I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
