My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
