I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
