she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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