Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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