He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
