Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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