now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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