Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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