Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
