As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
