That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
