Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
