Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You have to summon your inner elephant
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize