I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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