I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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