That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
