You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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