just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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