Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
