3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
