We're facebook friends in real life
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
