grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
