he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize