Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
