Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize