idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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