She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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