We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it penis luge time yet?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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