i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
