Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize