the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
