At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize