True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
