I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
