Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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