Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
