I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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