Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
