What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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