yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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