If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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