I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
