what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
