My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize