Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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